bike

Two wheels. Twenty two gears. One chain. Two bottles. Two brakes. Four brakepads. Two pedals. Two cranks. One frame. Two cameras. ZERO flats!
One heart. Four chambers. Two lungs. Two arms. Two legs. Five mates. So many hills.

I have a bad feeling that I am never going to see this beautiful bike again.

Marmolada

Interesting title for a blog post. Marmalade - a sweet and interesting breakfast jam made from citrus. A tart but pleasant experience.

The Dolomiti today gave us all aspects of cycling pleasure and suffering today. If I had been a professional (ha!) cyclist I would have gladly stopped and handed my dossard over to the raace official and climbed into the warm car.

The start at LivinLaVidaLoca was warm, and I considered an icecream for second breakfast. Applied sunscreen to arms and legs and wondered whether I should leave my small 5litre backpack in the van as we wiped up these passes, Fedaia, a new one, and Pordoi, which we did earlier.

SuperModel chose to relent on the ride. I witnessed him wincing from his sore guts, and I could see he was making a brave decision not to take on 2000m of climbing on our last day together. Buble Boy chose a more subtle route of hiding in the dunny until we had left. It didnt work. He jumped into shotgun seat and helped pilot me up and down the Falzarego Pass towards Livinallongo.  Kransky Polenta was coughing less, and the blue skies that greeted us gave no hint of the delights we had in store. OGF was sarcastic beyond belief so we just took everything he had to say on face value, something he took with wearied expectation.  OGF has painstakingly mapped every single ride we have done, sending us on boulder strewn got tracks, superhighways, and even through the middle of a church during a christening, but of curse we ignored the beeping from our collective garmin gpsunits and just followed the road signs. OGF has researched all the climbs over three weeks, some done before, some moderated with feedback from colleagues who also travel, and we have had a wealth of information and superb journeys and experiences. I know I have grumped about slave to gps, but often the false trails have lead us to amazing sights, white knuckled descents and delicious unexpected omelettes. Oh those Bourg D'Oisans omelettes how we love them.

I kind of knew this blog was going to be a stream of consciousness effort, write drunk, edit sober. One beer post ride, two beers at the restaurant, one glass of wine at the restaurant. Two vodka and prosecco lemon sorbets at the restaurant. I'm pissed.

I am now sipping Lip Ton. A rare and refined brew. Note to self, use the teatowel to pick up the stainless steel kettle handle.

Yeah anyway Ricky Lake/Nelson/ Martin whatever Livinallongo.

 Start. Its hot at 10am. Sunscreen. 65kay and 200m lets smash this. Yummy cake and coffee. Lets click in and ride. GPS takes us to a road that has a severe diversion half way - probably a bridge out, we cant get through, diversion is only a couple of kays further. Nyeah no worries.

Beaut descent into Caprile. Nice town. ROll through and the ascent of the Passo Fedaia begins and we traverse the northern slope of the Marmolada.

There it is just popping up under that blue sky and that wispy stuff.

I had researched Fedaia, long, awesome, crazy long steep gradient. Someone wrote the road designer had spent ages getting the hairpins just so, the as she fell asleep and as her eyelids dropped she drew a straight line up the slope, later she awoke and the hairpins recommenced. The result is a 3km straight uphill at 12%.

Which is nice. Note the atmos.

That ski lift was very enticing. It had a roof.

I saw sheep! I also saw OGF sprinting away.

You're OK Le Chef, but you're no OGF

Dissed by ovines, the gradient did not cease from 12% with occasional pinches to 15%.  This was OK. The rain would ease off, we would refuel at the Passo rifugia. Piece of piss. Half way there. In. The. Bag.

We actually used these words.

We were fine as long as we were warm.

Lunch at Passo Fedaia, and the drizzle relents. We take off on the long descent through a series of galleria, when we decide to wait at the exit as it is now pissing down. And cold. and we are exactly 180 degrees from the van. Either way is a massive climb back. We are not in Kansas, which is a good thing because Kansas is shit.

We are now in the shit, but we don't know it.

On the descent we don, rainjackets, arm warmers, neck buffs, beanies, shoe covers. On the start of the Passo Pordoi, the one we did a couple of days ago, we strip that stuff off because climbing makes you warm.

Nuh uh. There is a cold headwind. No amount of standing and pushing on the pedals is doing anything to make warm. BB is racing ahead because in his panicked state from his self selected lavatory asylum he forgot his rainjacket, newly bought in Sondrio Italy, it is on the balcony back in Cortina. He is using my hopeless gillet I loaned him. Paper thin with the comforting and insulating properties of chewing aluminium foil with fresh amalgam fillings.

He may as well be wearing a paper doilie.

KP is operating on depths of strength and reserve that are rarely called upon, and I am glad because none of us has anything left to give to assist.

Pordoi was a delight to descend in heat and sun and we became upset that other people could possibly be in our way in their cars, clogging the roads and slowing us down. More than once I look forlornly at their comfortable climate control and leather seats. Todat climbing this side I am COLD. I stop and don the rainjacket. Never done it before because it usually sweats me up and makes too hot. Its what I need. OGF stops with me on the climb. KP also. Not too far to go and the gradient averages only about 7% and we would normally smash this. But the headwind is chilling us. I stupidly tap the garmin for confirmation and did I see 6 degrees? Oh crap.

I have never shivered from cold on a climb before, and I am wearing everything I have.

Mercifully we make the summit dodging more sheep.

I roll across the passo, cannot see BB or OGF, surely they havent gone on to Arabba or Ricky Martin? Nope I see them enter a restaurant. KP arrives shortly after me. We go inside. Its warm. I am sodden leaving a puddle with every footstep.  We are welcome. I buy a stupid hat. Cake and coffee. and lay my gloves, buffs and jackets out for slight drying. Another coffee. BB wants to go straight away. A cloud rolls through the passo and visibility is downto SFA.

We jointly decide to make abreak for it. We have to get off this mountain. I have never ridden so slowly. Braking constantly. I mean for twelve kilometres I am braking. My arms ache. My hands cannt move. Even if I relent for a second I gain so much speed I fear I wont make the next corner.

I stop just past Arabba to shake out 13 km of braking. I take one look at BB and know we have to keep going. We are all hypothermic, but his manic smile is out of place here.

The expected uphills dont appear, a chance to pedal and move and make heat. Then a red light for road works. I checked the video - 110 seconds. "Go fucken green ya cunt"

Green and 0.24 seconds later I am clicked in and accelerating hard, slight faux plat and stamping the pedals, I cant look around all I want to do get to the van, open the door, turn on thee engine and heater and get home.

KP OGF and BB have the same experience. We have enough nouse to make it back to the van, sodden, chilled and hysterical. What an amazing ride.

Wait a couple of minutes to settle then drive over Falzarego and back into Cortina. we are buzzed. A ride for the ages. A fitting last ride where we suffered just enough, and not a bit more.

I would like to do it again in fine weather and I would take traffic over the cold.

Postscript: The mountains around the Cortina valley have all received a dusting of snow last night.

Everything looked ok initially, then we ended up in an Addams Family show.

KP isn't feeling 100% and we decide to do a short route of 45km or so with about 900m of climbing in total.  This is a flat ride as OGF has found some repurposed rail trail - our first experience of strada bianco!

Its a beautiful climb up a valley at 2.5%, the sound of gravel crunching under our tyres, and if we listen very hard we can hear engines way way down below.

A very soft drizzle commences, that's ok we can handle that. It is one of the few rides we have also done as a compact group, everyone is happy to stop and take photos and generally cruise along in a very different environment.  My bike is loving the gravel, smooth bump absorbing frame and tyres just slightly lower pressures make this exceedingly enjoyable.

First rail tunnel

We encounter our first tunnel and it is illuminated! Clearly they get a lot of traffic through here.  Pass a couple of dodgy characters on the exit and roll on. Crunch of gravel, whirr of the chain, and calm relaxed breathing. BB even finds time to talk.
After all the talk of insane gradients and fine views, this is a flat ride we are loving.

Exit another dark tunnel and cross a ravine. The green cloth is to STOP people looking through. I am still pondering that.

Tough life

As we steadily roll up slowly gaining nearly 300m we see a flash and some seconds later, perhaps five, we hear a deep rumble. We are actually in the cloud at 1600m ASL.

Another flash. Then as we rejoin the road, a restaurant appears!

Ten kilometres from Cortina, Rifugia Ospetale. BB opens the door. Creaks. Helloo, welcome.

Time for coffee and cake and Addams Family, Scooby Doo, Munsters references.

Rain is setting in and I am seriously underprepared for this sort of weather, no arm warmers, no long gloves, no rain jacket only a gillet, thankfully the thunderstorms are gone, but it is teeming down and now cold.

We set off slowly but the gradient means we gather speed without pedalling. I start by pressuring the brakes and pedalling against them, to stay warm.

I've got an OGF on my trumpet

Getting colder and the road is a disgrace. Puddles conceal huge tyre swallowing cracks, and I search for the smoothest surface to ride. I AM trying to crack a smile. It's tricky conditions and while pedalling against the brakes and in the cool temperature I am starting to tense up.

On the way up we noticed an advert for a bike shop

It has everything we (I) need, the Cortina script, the olympic rings, it just fair punches my buttons.

On the way back down we turn into the bike shop car park and see the various options.  We resolve to go back.

Back at the ranch, we are cold and wet, 20kms for coffee and cake. Showers and a home made omelette, cuppa tea, and the house is silent but for SM's snoring.

Soon the shops will reopen and we can spend! Weird shopping hours, everything shuts at 12.30 and opens again at 15:30


But last night's meal!  Delicious lamb cutlets roasted to perfection, accompanied with polenta and sauerkraut, and beer it was too much to eat in one meal, so I brought one cutlet home with me. Its sitting in the fridge right now.

NOM

And here are some random pics from last nights perambulations.

Sella Ronde - the quintessential Dolomites experience on a bike

The numbers aren't that impressive - 52km and 1500m of ascent, what that doesn't reflect is the sheer immensity of the limestone and the grandeur of the landscape.

SuperModel drives us to Arabba (ball) and we assemble bikes but before riding first we have espresso. I am not keen about today, my achilles tendon is not happy, I have been smothering diclofenac cream into it post ride each day.

The Sella Massif on approach. Butterflies

Bit nervous. Everyone has a toilet stop.

Click in and roll and straight into climbing at 6-8% for ten kays. Some pinches at 10% but meh. Passo Pordoi beckons in the gorgeous light of high mountains, on another gorgeous day.
The mountains dominate on both sides of the road, as we snake our way up the 600m

Nearly to the top of Passo Pordoi looking back to Arabba

Cable car goes from 2200m to 2950m for walkers to explore

We all ride our own tempo and roll into town as and when we see fit. The tiredness is affecting us all. Of course we stop, look at the food options and decide to roll but of course as soon as we go 100m a new vista opens up (Passo) and we immediately stop again and get the cameras out.

One Passo done, three to go

immense

And we don jackets and roll down hill through sweeping corners, mindful of traffic and potholes and just how quickly you can build speed down these slopes. Get into traffic and then traffic starts waving at us to slow down and another corner and an ambulancia and a bent motorbike - looks like a single vehicle collision, but we roll through surprised this is the first incidence of a biker down. I didnt rubber neck.

We remove the raincoats which are worn to prevent chill from the sweat from the ascent. Click in and roll.

The scenery is immense, honestly I do not have the vocabulary for the cliff walls we are riding under. I have never experienced anything like this in my life and being on a bike with my mates and using our own heart and lungs and legs to get around (ignore the car transport) is simply amazing.  I am extremely thankful and privileged to be able to do this, and I want to do more. Yes tired but I am always riding within my strengths and know that the days for return are nearing.

happy loon

Passo Sella arrives.  I transferred the polystyrene plastic shell on my head to the handlebars and don a cycling cap. Feels good. Stand pedal, sit pedal change gear, drink, stand pedal and GAWP at where I am. GAWP. Like a happy loon.

beast

The Sella descent is quick but there are many cars and we spend most of the time riding the brakes.

Soon we are at the bottom of the descent and about to climb again, everyone says its not a big one, just 400m or so and our stomachs are grumbling. Kransky Polenta is riding within himself, but the manflu is dragging him back. I see him scoff a banana, and we clip in and go uphill for the third time today.

I try to push a bit on the first few switchbacks but the  I turn a corner and my tiny brain shuts down by the scene. Sheer cliff to the right, sweeping valley rising to another range to the left. I stop pedalling.

I am rubber necking and trying to take everything but I simply cannot. No camera can capture this day, this warmth, this scene. Its verdant and threatening simultaneously and all the emotions of the short spring and summer in the high mountains are at ELEVEN.

!!!

OGF, BB and SM roll past me. My legs won't work with the grandeur of the landscape.

I want to make this last as long as possible.

Eventually the downhill runs out and I have to pedal again. But where is Kransky Polenta? I ride very carefully up the hill and enjoy the view. I get to a hairpin and gaze down the valley and see KP rolling along; a mechanical? A flat?

Get to the Passo Gardena and the hotel and we are all hungry. OGF has claimed a table with an amusing view

Where the hell am I looking? Lederhosen?

Penne Arrabiata, and a beer and the boys grab soup and pasta and cokes and soak in the view. KP had a problem with his front derailleur dropping the chain, but he is also not feeling the best. So we are going to keep a watch out for him.

We have two more descents and one more climb, the Passo Campolongo. But then some few million dollars worth of cars arrive.

I ride a bit and then hear the engines fire up from up the pass and stop.

Then swoop down some gorgeous tarmac into Corvara.  OGF and myself keep a watch on KP as we climb up the ultimate hill. He has turned himself inside out today to get out and ride. We pedal up quiet roads until Campolongo, but as we climb I take a last view back to Corvara.

The final descent into Arraba is amazing. And so is the strudel I eat. OGF orders his new favourite drink, a mojito.

Pile into the van and back into Cortina, SM drives and it takes an hour, and starts to rain persistently.  We are fed up of driving and the evening meal conversation turns to tomorrow and which insane hillclimb we will refuse to do.

Driving back to Cortina, I get the crucial text, my amoure is in the country in Venice.

Not doing the climb the Tre Cime, not driving two hours to climb Zoncolan.

My dinner was superb and everyone else was very sated.

At the Passo Pordoi I try on a hat. Didn't buy it. I regret that now.

Ciao amici!